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Ghosts of Girlfriends Past



Connor Mead is a womanizing, commitment-phobic bachelor whose carefree antics nearly destroy his brother's wedding weekend when his constant mockery of the sacred institution throws cold water on the event. But then straight out of the afterlife comes Connor's philandering late Uncle Wayne (whose legendary cocksmanship inspired his current lifestyle) to lead him through a spooky, Dickensian tour of the ghosts of all his many female conquests from the past, present and future. As he realizes what a sorry state he's in and how he blew his relationship with Jenny, the one girl he truly loved and lost, Connor will find out if there's really a second chance in life.


Matthew McConaughey plays Connor with little distinction from the myriad of other skirt-chasing cads he's played in a string of unmemorable chick flicks like How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Failure to Launch and Fool's Gold. His immature chauvinist act is getting a little old and poor Jennifer Garner, his latest leading lady, can't do much to save him. There's little chemistry between the two, and in fact, both stars don't seem to have their heart in this lame, lustful takeoff on Dickens' A Christmas Carol. Instead of Scrooge, it's Screwed — and the crude tone doesn't make for the merriest of romantic comedies. For some inexplicable reason Michael Douglas took the thankless role of the late Uncle, who mostly just throws out lots of double entendres. Breckin Meyer is OK as the hapless groom while Lacey Chabert is just plain annoying as his shrill bride-to-be. Acting vets Robert Forster and Anne Archer do what they can to maintain their dignity in smaller supporting roles.


The trailer for Ghosts of Girlfriends Past was much better than the actual film and showed the premise had great promise. Unfortunately, they had to release the rest of the movie, and the jig was up.


The screenplay just doesn't deliver. There are few laughs in Ghosts of Girlfriends Past and most of them are forced, as in an endless slapstick kitchen scene where McConaughey tries desperately to keep a wedding cake from completely collapsing. He proves physical comedy is not his forte. Where's Lucy when you need her? The overall tone is just crass and sleazy, and the fantasy sequences involving the ghostly visits are flat and uninspired.


At one point, McConaughey utters, "Wake me when there's an action sequence, will you?" We would have, but there aren't any.


Read a book instead. How about A Christmas Carol?



Bottom Line rated this film 2 stars.