Project Greenlight makes for great TV, but its winners can only gain exposure from the show, as the movies are truly doomed from the start--of the first episode. Feast is by far the best the series has churned out yet, but that"s not saying much.
Guy walks into a bar and all hell breaks loose! In a saloon in Nowheretown, USA, the regular Joes and Janes are doing the regular deeds when "Hero" (Eric Dane)--introduced via freeze-frame, as all characters are, with vital statistics typed out, including life expectancy--bursts through the door bloodied and warning that "These things are coming." Well, let"s just say his "life expectancy" was ambitious. Then his, er, widow, "Heroine" (Navi Rawat) bursts through the door with the same urgency. The motley crew of patrons and employees (Krista Allen, Balthazar Getty, Judah Friedlander, Henry Rollins, Clu Gulager and Duane Whitaker) are all caught off-guard but soon have to take the threat seriously. The threat, as it turns out, comes from monsters--as they are technically known in the film--stalking them from outside the bar. Which is never good.
Like any true campy horror flick, Feast"s cast is decidedly C-list (to put it mercifully). In fact, if you watched the most recent season of Bravo"s Project Greenlight show--on which Feast was greenlit and filmed--you"re more likely to think of this group as reality TV stars than movie veterans, which isn"t a knock on their talent! Rawat (TV"s The O.C. and Numb3rs) scores the meatiest role but doesn"t always look like the right choice for it. Getty, who is slowly creeping towards possible "It" status, is likable, but snagging all the good lines never hurts. Friedlander is Hollywood"s most notorious "Oh, that guy!" guy, whom you"ll instantly recognize once you see him. Predictably, he plays the doofus, but plays it well. (Talk about being typecast!) The beautiful Allen, maybe best known as George Clooney"s rumored on/off girlfriend, can act but is perhaps too pretty for her own good a la pre-Monster Charlize Theron. And Rollins, the aging punk-rock icon who usually plays harder-edged roles, cleans up nice here, so to speak.
Project Greenlight is so much fun to watch, but for director John Gulager the televised fishbowl that was his Hollywood directorial debut must"ve been absolute hell. With so much quibbling on the set and in the offices to concoct a product that both makes for great TV and a profitable movie--its quality seemed of secondary importance on the show--is so far from what moviemaking is about; the filmmaker"s (a.k.a. "winner" of the contest) voice, if not entire career, is automatically stifled in the process. As expected, the show also turned Feast into a mess. The intros for each character and their life expectancy are somewhat clever (thanks to writers Marcus Dunstan and Patrick Melton) but not properly executed. From that point on Feast has moments that are fun in a sleazy way, but, most notably, the director just seems absent or muted--there"s nothing distinctive, which is where the director typically comes in. And the graininess hurts the film"s look, often coming across as more of a student film than proper B-horror.
Hollywood.com rated this film 2 stars.