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Watcher, The

He's watching you ... but hopefully, you won't be watching this pathetic piece of derivative, cliché-ridden crap.


A stressed-out, Xanax-popping cop (James Spader) flees L.A. to Chicago, to escape memories of a serial killer (Keanu Reeves) he couldn't catch, and of the girlfriend who died at the hands of said killer. Surprise, the killer – who has repressed homosexual feelings for his nemesis -- follows him to Chi-town and starts killing local women, so the burnout cop must get back on the case. Then there's a car chase, a gas station blows up, and the hero jumps through a glass window to escape an exploding building.


You can't pin the blame for this loser on the cast. They showed up for work, read their lines, and hopefully were able to look themselves in the mirror the next day. Spader and Reeves try their best, and Marisa Tomei's time is totally wasted as the enabling therapist who, at the end of the film, has nothing left to do but scream.


It's supposedly a story about obsession and voyeurism, and the relationship between the pursuer and the pursued. Bull-oney. Hitchcock is rolling over in his grave. This one has everything that's wrong with movies today: recycled plot, template characters, simple dialogue and flashbacks that hammer home their dull points by repeating the same scene over and over. Not to worry, the producers made sure to throw a few bones to the kids in the audience, like some Rob Zombie and techno music, which occasionally replace the awful orchestral score. Ditto for the erratic-camera homages to "The Blair Witch Project."

Bottom Line

We can just imagine the pitch meeting for this one. "It's 'Silence of the Lambs' meets 'Chuck and Buck.' "


Starring Keanu Reeves, James Spader, Marisa Tomei, Robert Cicchini and Chris Ellis.

Directed by Joe Charbanic. Produced by Christopher Eberts, Elliott Lewitt and Jeff Rice. Screenplay by Joe Charbanic, Darcy Meyers, Clay Ayers and Dave Elliott. Released by Universal.